Comprehending Loss

Like countless others, I had the Chapman family at the forefront of my thoughts and continual prayers yesterday. I was encouraged to read others voicing what I was thinking…Oh Lord, why?! Why this precious child? Why this dear family? Why under such tragic circumstances? Losses like this cry out for some form of explanation. Why? I ask out of complete inability to reason such a heart-wrenching loss in my human state. Yet even in the asking, I know and fully trust in God’s sovereign will, as do all believers, and somehow that trust gives us peace. Peace in the knowledge that although horrific and shocking to us, our all- knowing Lord appointed every day of little Maria’s life. It was always His plan that her stay would be brief. There is also peace that what happened Wednesday was allowed, through God’s permissive will for purposes that only He can understand. It is because of his great love and compassion that He is prepared for the outcry of our hearts, our hard questions and even our "Why’s."

I picked up a book some time ago called When Life is Cut Short – A Biblical Guide to Dealing with Tragedy. I wanted to share insights from several excerpts (in paraphrased form)…

It seems incomprehensible that God resides in the midst of such [tragic] situations, but He tells us in Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." That is the absolute truth. God doesn’t leave us alone in the dark to deal with our sorrow. He is very present to meet the critical need of our personal comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:4). So intentional is His presence that He specifically promised to be near to the "brokenhearted" and "those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18). Our assignment is to take the first step, to welcome God’s personal attendance to our comfort in time of trouble.

If God didn’t spare his own Son, but gave Him up for all – can we not trust Him to give us, with Him, everything we could possibly need? According to His promises in Romans 8:38-39, nothing -- not death, not life, what happens today or what may happen tomorrow can separate us from the love of God in Christ. God promises to weave our tragic situations into something constructive and beneficial for us, which gives a hope unexplainable by outward appearances. Think of Christ…He was able to withstand the terror and shame of the cross "for the joy set before him." (Hebrews 12:2) Surely He gathered strength from the hope that His senseless torture and barbaric crucifixion were being woven by His Father, into a glorious plan. A plan to bring about something infinitely beneficial for countless others. It was His Father’s promise of future glory that empowered Him to endure.

We may walk in the dark, but not alone. (Isaiah 50:10) It is said that Navy pilots experience three to five seconds of havoc after their planes leave the deck of a carrier in takeoff. Until their indicator needles stabilize, they are literally in the dark about their position. There is likewise a time of emotional havoc between the moment tragedy strikes and the moment God sheds light on His purposes. For a time, we must allow others to "frame our faith" for us. Others who have survived life’s tragic turns and our brothers and sisters in Christ can offer a treasury of dependable counsel.

Deuteronomy 29:29 affirms it is God’s prerogative to keep His counsel to Himself or reveal it to us…"the secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law." There are secrets that God will unravel for us only later…but there are also those that He reveals to us now in His Word. This counsel doesn’t explain away God’s sovereign intentions behind personal tragedy. There will always be a mystery here that transcends human reasoning, however it does shed the light of scriptural wisdom upon our path so that we may continue on without being impeded by our pain. If we turn our hearts toward God, that mystery will not dim, but rather strengthen our wonder and our worship.

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At last check on their memorial website, there were over 13,000 people who had offered words of prayer, love and support to the Chapmans. No doubt scores of untold others were doing the same for this precious family. If you’d like to meet Maria and express your condolences click here. To send condolences by mail, PO Box 150156 Nashville, TN 37215. In lieu of flowers, the Chapmans request any gifts be directed to Shaohannah’s Hope.

Father God, be ever near to the Chapman family. We ask for an outpouring of your grace, comfort and strength in untold measure on their behalf for the days ahead. Remind all of us that life is but a vapor that appears for just a little while. May we cherish every moment with those we love more than ever before. In the name of Christ, Amen