2009 Scripture Memory Challenge #9 and How it Relates to My Weight Loss Journey

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. ~Colossians 1:10-12

God had been working on me for awhile. I’m ashamed to admit I tried to ignore His loving persistence. I can’t even tell you exactly how long this battle of heart wore on, but early one morning last fall, He finally got through to me and I surrendered. A day or two later, I received word that a Weight Watchers At Work group was starting in my office and they were seeking participants. I had to chuckle at God’s apparent swift work. He clearly didn’t want me to have time to change my mind (He knows me too well). I immediately signed up and later that week, attended my first meeting. I had done Weight Watchers one other time 7 years prior and had lost some, but I knew this time was different because my motivation had changed. This time, it was about being more pleasing to God and taking better care of the body He had given me.

During a difficult season early in my marriage, I began turning to food for comfort (unknowingly at first). Though I became a Christian at the age of 13, after high school I began drifting away from the Lord and soon there was little evidence of His presence in my life. I met and married Tom during this time. He was unsaved. Thanks be to God, eleven years into our marriage, Tom became a Christian and I returned to the Lord. As you can imagine, God worked within our family in amazing ways and our lives radically changed.

Years went by and though I believed I had given God full access to my heart, my previous coping patterns with food continued. Though I would typically cook relatively healthy meals for my family, my personal eating habits were horrible. I would buy pop-tarts, snack cakes and bags of mini candy bars and keep them hidden at work and at home. Even though most days I would eat a decent lunch and dinner, I would snack constantly on sweets. If I went to the grocery on my way home from work, I'd buy a candy bar (or two) in the checkout line and eat them immediately.

It wasn't always sweets...sometimes I'd stop at a local drive through for a cheeseburger and fries. I'd eat them in the parking lot, throw away the bag then go home to prepare dinner that I would also eat. Strange as it sounds, for the longest time, I didn't even see the irony of that. Once God began to open my eyes to what I was doing, I felt shame, which in some ways only made matters worse. I then shifted into denial mode which for a time, seemed to be working -- that is, until I began outgrowing all my clothes.

Over time, God began to wear away my defensiveness. Through scores of verses, through music and other believers, He showed me that only He was able to fulfill the needs I was trying to fill with food...but I had to let Him. Most importantly, he assured me of His love. Last September, I finally "put down my dukes" and laid aside the temporal comforts for His. Has it always been easy? No. It required accountability and sometimes moment by moment prayer. But God's strength and presence has been so evident. Often His spirit would speak love and encouragement during my exercise or a particularly hard day. Seeing the number on the scale go down, and knowing my food choices were healthy and pleasing to God brought much joy along the journey as well. I no longer crave "the junk" that was once a part of my daily eating habits, yet I know this struggle is not over. This battle is won, but the war itself will continue. This time, however, I believe I'm far better equipped to fight than ever before.

This verse has become a prayer of mine. How I truly desire to please God in every way, to fully surrender an undivided heart in order that I may be worthy of what He has given me and called me to be. 39 pounds lighter and several sizes smaller than where I started this journey, I'm living proof of the strength of His power. There is no greater comforter and there is indeed no greater coach. (It's true, Carrie!) Please know if you're struggling in this way He can and will help you, too. Feel free to e-mail me via my profile if I can help by answering any questions or lifting you in prayer.

Several have asked to see photos. I have wrestled with this for a number of days and had nearly determined not to include them. I then remembered how God used things like this to encourage me before I began, so in that light, I've decided to post them.

Before:
178 pounds

After:
139 pounds

Giving thanks and praise to God...

Tracy