Praise the Lord and Pass the Gravy!

Last weekend, we hosted my hubby’s side of the family for two birthday celebrations. My father-in-law, Bob was turning 86 and my sister-in-law, Nancy was turning 56. I told Bob we could have any meal he wanted, but he was doing NONE of the cooking. (He typically insists on it, even on his birthday.) He told me he already had two Pork Roasts thawing for me in his fridge and with that, the decision was made.

I would have never let him know, but I was extreeeeemely nervous from the outset. You see, Bob is an amazing cook. There are a several dinners that are his specialty…one of them is roast pork. It is invariably excellent and our family LOVES this meal. I had never cooked a large pork loin before Sunday, so I asked him if he could tell me how he makes it. “No problem,” he said, “I’ll even teach you how to tie it.” Armed with his instructions and two freshly tied pork roasts, I was off to cook.

Everything went exactly as planned. After more than 2 hours of cooking time, I was thrilled to open the oven to find a roast that looked very much like one of his. He took one look and declared "BEAUTIFUL!" Upon closer inspection, he added, "cooked to perfection!" (Whew!)

By this time, the whole family had arrived and everyone literally cheered. (I think they too were a bit nervous that someone other than Bob was cooking their beloved pork roast!) The potatoes were almost finished cooking, the green beans had been in the crock pot all day, so it was time to make the gravy. I spent so much energy worrying about the pork roast, I hadn’t given much thought to making the gravy. (Are you starting to see where this is going??)

Like many families, ours tends to congregate in the kitchen. We have an island where everyone tends to hover. This often makes for extra pressure as you feel as though all eyes are upon you. Though I was thrilled the roast pork came out well, I knew I was going to be anxious until the entire meal had come together and was on the table.

I took a deep breath and began making the gravy. The natives were restless and seemingly watching my every move. The pre-dinner snacks had been consumed. Oh, the pressure! My sister-in-law, Sally was helping in the kitchen and we were both working as fast as we could, putting the final touches on dinner. The rolls were in the oven and I continued making the gravy. I had to say I was quite pleased with how it was looking.

Suddenly, we realized the rolls were burning so we immediately opened the oven to take them out. At the same time, our extremely sensitive smoke alarm (cleverly placed immediately over our stove when our house was built) began going off. The rolls were saved and we began waving a towel in the air to stop the smoke alarm. (Oh, just what we needed…more excitement and attention!) We were all laughing as I gave another glance to the gravy. It looked good, but I could see a few large lumps. I began looking for my strainer. Couldn’t find it anywhere! No worries, I thought…I’ll use my colander. I proceeded to grab my colander, sat it in my sink (in the middle of the island) and then grabbed the large pan of gravy. I quickly poured its entire contents into the colander. There was only one problem. I had forgotten to put a bowl under it. (I so wish I were kidding.) That’s right, the entire pan of gravy went straight down the drain. All that remained in my colander were the lumps.

There was a literal gasp of horror from everyone around the island and then…silence. Before I could even think, my mother-in-law (I’ve told you she was a character!) rushed over to my father-in-law to tell him what I had done. He grimaced, then grinned. I was mortified. Who ever heard of roast pork with NO GRAVY? The family who had been cheering me just a few moments before were now chuckling nervously, saying things like, “it’s ok…we don’t really need gravy.” Suddenly, I remembered buying several jars of this…
Woo-hoo!!! A few minutes later, we were back in business. While not the same as homemade gravy…this would definitely be better than NO gravy. Thank you Lord and Mr. Heinz!

As we enjoyed dinner, my family thanked me for the meal, and the pre-dinner entertainment. Needless to say, I haven't heard the end of this one! ; ) LOL!

All smiles after “the gravy incident,” here is Bob and Nancy about to partake of birthday Peach Cobbler (which turned out much better than the gravy, thank-you-very-much.) ; )